


Undiscovered Truths

by Catw00man



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Community: fmagiftexchange, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-08 18:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catw00man/pseuds/Catw00man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maes always thought he knew who he was, but it turns out he couldn’t have been more wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undiscovered Truths

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for the [fmagiftexchange](http://fmagiftexchange%20.livejournal.com/) community. I had a little more trouble with this prompt than I thought I would. I think I was trying really hard to stay true to character without making Maes a complete ass. I hope I succeeded!
> 
>  
> 
> Fill for the [fmagiftexchange](http://fmagiftexchange%20.livejournal.com/) prompt: _They just can't stop seeing each other.. even with Gracia, even with Elysia, Maes can't live without this man in his arms._  
> 

Maes told himself after he asked Gracia out the first time that it was over. He was fresh from the Academy and Roy was off to go learn more about alchemy. They never discussed things then, and really haven’t since. At the time Maes assumed everything between them was just an Academy fling, two guys thrown together who had a little fun because there was never any question they had chemistry. He knew that the instant Roy took things personal when he stole his lunch once. Everything was a competition then, including who was better in bed. Though to be honest, there really wasn’t a loser there.

He thought that’s all there was between them and he didn’t think too much about it again. Gracia was exactly the type of woman he wanted to settle down with and he was about to do just that, until the war started and everything changed. When he finally saw Roy in Ishval it was obvious he wasn’t the same. It was almost like he was haunted by something he couldn’t talk about. Then Maes saw him snap his fingers for the first time and he nearly incinerated a full city block. Roy had changed alright, and before he knew it he was in his arms again. After Ishval it had to be over. That’s when he proposed to Gracia.

It was the end. It had to be. But after the war something happened with Roy that obviously weighed heavy on him. It was easy to see he had a closer relationship with Lt. Hawkeye, but it wasn’t anything he’d discuss no matter how Maes pushed. So he stopped pushing and they ended up in bed again. It was only temporary, that’s all it could ever be. When Gracia was finally pregnant with Elysia he knew it was over. He couldn’t keep being with him like that. But then they found out about Roy’s transfer East and just like all the times before he was in his arms again. But that was it, a goodbye, nothing more. That’s what he told himself.

And now here they are in East City with a man out to kill him and every other alchemist assigned to the military.

Roy thinks he ran as soon as the fighting started, but he couldn’t be further from the truth. How could he run when Roy was fighting for his life? Yes, he was outside the line of fire and why wouldn’t he be? He’s no match for super human freaks. But he didn’t leave. He stayed in the shadows with his gun and knives trained on Scar. He knew Roy was no match for him in the rain, not that he’d ever admit it. Thankfully Hawkeye knew Roy as well as he did and was there to protect him right in the nick of time. He could have died so easy. That’s probably why they’re here again, wrapped in each other’s arms and basking in the afterglow.

Roy rolls onto his back and he can’t help but admire the way he looks with his jet black hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. He’s still trying to catch his breath and that brings a smile to Maes’ lips. It’s been awhile since they’ve been together like this and it’s good to know he hasn’t lost his touch. Roy closes his dark eyes and a contented smile spreads across his face. Maes turns onto his side so he can continue to watch him. 

He’s always loved this time the best. Roy’s so unguarded when he’s like this and Maes knows that few if any have ever seen him this way. He trails his eyes over his pale skin and he can’t help but think about how reckless he was today. Sure he’s always had an ego, but this was more than that. This is a pattern that’s been forming for awhile and he doesn’t understand it.

This was about Fullmetal.

Maes frowns and he’s glad Roy’s eyes are still closed so he doesn’t notice. He’s not himself when he’s around Ed and today was no exception. Roy didn’t even think when he realized Scar could be after him, not that he should have. He’s a good commanding officer and Maes knows he’ll do anything to protect his men. But there was something else. There was a deep fear in his eyes that Maes still doesn’t understand. It was if it was personal and he’s not sure why, but things are always strange between those two. There’s a tension that’s tangible when they’re in the same room, like a fire right under the surface waiting to explode. Roy acts differently toward him, overly protective, and he’s still trying to sort it all out. Roy doesn’t want to tell Ed about the events in Lior and though it’s not how Roy normally does things he can understand it. But the fact that he didn’t tell him about Alphonse…that’s not like him at all.

He presses his lips together and watches Roy’s breathing even out. It’s one thing for him to lie to Ed, but Maes can’t remember a time Roy kept something this big from him. He took the boys in to his own house for God’s sake! Why wouldn’t Roy trust him with the fact that Al is literally walking armor? His eyes narrow and he gets a sick feeling in his gut. Is there more going on here than just a commanding officer and subordinate relationship? Sure they act like they hate each other now…but that’s exactly how it started between him and Roy. Hatred and passion are too much one in the same. Maes knows nothing inappropriate is going on now, Roy would never take advantage of someone so young, much less one of his subordinates. But people can grow up and leave the military….

“Would you stop brooding. Everything’s going to work out. We’ll catch him, Maes.”

Maes blinks and realizes Roy wasn’t asleep after all and is staring directly at him. Those dark eyes bore into him and he feels a sliver of fear wind its way through him. There could be someone else one day, and if there was…where would that leave him? He sees Roy tilt his head at him curiously when he doesn’t answer and for the moment he can’t. He doesn’t know what to say because…because he’s just realized his entire life is a lie.

How many years has he been convincing himself that all he was doing was giving in when in reality he was the one doing the seeking out? He’s told himself again and again it was always for Roy, that he’s the one who needed him, but it’s not true. Never once has Roy been the one to come to him. After they graduated and he went off to become the Flame Maes never got so much as a letter. It wasn’t until they both ended up in Ishval and Roy was nearly killed by an old acquaintance of theirs that things changed between them. Roy was strong. He’s always been strong even when he was falling apart. It was Maes who needed to be reassured he was alright and it was Maes who started things up again. Just like it was Maes who came to Roy after Gracia accepted his proposal and the weight of his whole life being decided once and for all was hanging over his head. 

It was the same when Elysia was born. He loves his daughter and his family more than anything in this world but to know that her life was completely his responsibility was stifling. He needed the reassurance of Roy’s arms and he gave it to him willingly, just like he always has. Just like he did today. He needed to feel his arms around him, feel his body warm and willing underneath him and Roy gave that to him without hesitation. But what if things change? What if he finds someone else who’s not encumbered by secrecy and a family of his own? What if he wants more than a random fling that starts up again only when Maes needs him? What will he do then?

“Maes, are you ok?” He can see the concern on his face, the worry in his eyes and he knows it’s real. He knows Roy cares deeply for him even though they’ve never spelled it out in words. They’ve never had to, but now he’s afraid if they don’t there may not be anything here at all. He should bite his tongue. He should kiss him and tell him that everything is fine. But he can’t. He just can’t.

“I need you to promise me something, Roy.” He regrets the words the instant they’re out of his mouth but he can’t take them back and if he’s honest with himself he knows he wouldn’t even if he could. Roy tilts his head at him and rolls on his side toward him. He only realizes he’s holding his breath when Roy finally answers him.

“What is it?”

He shouldn’t have expected more. Another lover might have said, “yes, anything” without even waiting for the request, but not Roy. He’s too damn smart to let himself be locked into an obligation without knowing what it was first. He shouldn’t be hurt by that. Roy wants to be Fuhrer for God’s sake, he doesn’t need to be encumbered by a promise that could weigh him down later. But he has to ask. He has to know.

“Promise me you’ll never turn me away. Please.” His entire body is taut with tension and when Roy doesn’t answer immediately he knows he never should have said anything. He has more important concerns than whatever this is between them, but Maes can’t help it. He knows more clearly than he ever has that he can’t live in a world where the option of holding this man in his arms again isn’t there. And now he may have cost himself everything by pushing too far.

Roy reaches out, takes his hand and Maes is certain it’s to soften the blow. He lowers his eyes and watches him lace their fingers together. God is he going to miss the feel of those long, pale fingers against his skin. He’s being unfair and he knows it but he can’t seem to help it. He needs him in his life as much as he needs his own family. He can’t let him go. What will he do if he has to let him go?

“I don’t think I could ever turn you away, Maes.” His breath catches in his throat and he raises his eyes to meet Roy’s dark intense ones and all he sees is complete honesty in them. Maes lets out a shaky breath as he squeezes Roy’s hand and he tries to pull himself together. Does he have any idea what those words mean to him? Roy leans closer and his heart breaks a little at the tender kiss he presses to his lips. He can’t live without this man. No matter what he knows he can’t live without him. He will do whatever he can to help him make it to the top and he’ll be right by his side, even if one day it has to be only as friends.

“Good.” And there’s really nothing more to be said. He leans into Roy’s touch when he releases his hand and runs it up Maes’ side. They really have always communicated best when words weren’t necessary. He captures his lips in another kiss and he’s glad he still has a few more days out here in the East. Maes wraps his arm around him and Roy scoots closer, pressing himself against him. They’ll find Scar. They will and Roy will take all the credit for it. Then he’ll be transferred back to Central where he belongs. He’ll see him again soon enough.

And he’ll make sure things are ready for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and concrit are always loved and appreciated. :-)


End file.
